July 2nd, 2007 Foreign to Familiar

“We are all a bit ethnocentric, thinking our way is a bit superior to someone else’s. If we can get beyond that, we’ll find we can begin to learn, respect and enjoy the differences. Soon, what seems foreign will become familiar. And we’ll find we have much in common.” -Sarah A. Lanier, in her book Foreign to Familiar

Have you ever been really annoyed with the person who doesn’t want to get a project done quite at the same efficiency rate as you? What about the person who asks five questions around the real question they want to ask? Felt unimportant because someone didn’t take the time to have a real conversation? Felt someone was too abrupt in their way with dealing with a situation?

People’s cultures help shape the way they view others. In Sarah A. Lanier’s book Foreign to Familiar, she creates a guide to understanding what she calls hot and cold climate cultures. By the end of the book, you figure out it isn’t so much about the quantitive cultures that live in hot areas vs the cooler areas, but tribal vs urban, relationship based vs task oriented based. I have gone through much confusion after being raised in Alaska then moving to the midwest 9 years ago. I have partaken in many dyadic situations where depending on the location of Indiana one is from, the communication style is different. Makes it difficult for a foreigner to know how to relate to those they try to befriend.

At the start of the book, she tells of people moving to the United States who had difficulty embracing the culture. Since they weren’t informed of the social norms, they didn’t know how to interact and relate with others. This could have been solved with research on the new country or talking with others from the area. Lanier suggests talking to someone from your original country who has lived in the new place for awhile since they will understand more thoroughly what is different and how to change your viewpoint.

As much as I would love to be able to expound on each chapter, that would take entirely way too long. I will list the chapter titles since they are the basic concepts. The last page of each chapter gave an easy to read outline of points to remember.

1. Hot- Versus Cold-Climate Cultures

2. Relationship Versus Task Oriented

3. Direct Verus Indirect Communication

4. Individualism Versus Group Identity

5. Inclusion Versus Privacy

6. Different Concepts of Hospitality

7. High-Context Versus Low-Context Cultures

8. Different Concepts of Time and Planning

9. Practical Next Steps

10. In Conclusion